


Getting By

by JustSomeGirl92



Series: Baby, I love you [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Lance and Keith are in love, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage, Miscommunication, Misunderstanding, just a little bit of smut, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeGirl92/pseuds/JustSomeGirl92
Summary: Lance and Keith navigate their new relationship in the aftermath of losing their baby. It takes some time and patience to deal with emotions and insecurities but they're in it for the long haul.





	Getting By

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Getting By](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374170) by [DreamerX2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerX2/pseuds/DreamerX2)



> I'm sorry that this took awhile longer than I expected. I wound up moving and was busy with that. I'm also sorry that this isn't going to be what everyone was expecting when they asked for a sequel. I just had a lot of ideas to run with before I dealt with them having another baby. Don't worry, that will be the next and final installment in this series. Also, this may have a different feel to it because I'm in a happier head space than I was when I wrote the first part. That was more about self indulgence and this is more working on ideas that I've had rolling around in my head and suddenly realized would be great in this series. Anyway, hope you still like it!

Lance and Keith may have been together before but purely in a  physical capacity, with the soft touches and gentle kisses of the late night and early morning their only concession to intimacy beyond sex. Things were difficult and the dark cloud that hung over them from their mutual loss and misunderstandings caused a fair share of trepidation. Their relationship moved slowly,  awkward at first. It was different than what they had been used to. 

Lance couldn’t count how many times he’d looked over at Keith’s hand, wanting to take hold of it but not knowing how the action would be received. It was hard for him to not be touching Keith. Physicality was natural to him and something Lance craved in a relationship. He wanted to hold and be held, to feel like he was wanted. Keith wasn’t as used to casual touching, hadn’t had much experience with physical affection, or affection at all. The last thing Lance wanted was to make Keith uncomfortable. 

Keith couldn’t remember all the times he’d wanted to lean into Lance’s side when he would prop his arm onto the back of the couch behind Keith’s shoulders. He had little idea how to initiate affectionate touching. He’d missed out on it and found himself desperate to make up the deficit. Even more than that, Keith loved the idea of being able to make Lance happy.  He knew he was able to do that when they had been having sex regularly but was a different, fleeting form of happiness. He wished his touch could fill Lance with the warm, happy feeling that bloomed in his own chest whenever Lance took his hand or kissed his temple. Keith couldn’t tell him how much he wanted to lay down with Lance when they watched a movie, how badly he wanted to trace patterns on his boyfriend’s chest with his finger or stroke his arm gently in a soothing, repetitive motion. He wasn’t very good at words but he thought he could show his feelings through actions. If Lance would allow him and if Lance felt the same surge of comfort and happiness that his simple touches brought Keith. 

The physical distance wasn’t purely their own fault either. Despite his initial promise to come back to the castle, Keith continued to work with the BOM. He’d moved back into his old bedroom again but he accepted missions and would be away for days sometimes. Whenever he came back, Lance was there to welcome him home. 

Keith loved coming home to Lance. He wasn’t totally familiar with this sensation. It was still strange for him to experience that pull in his chest, something tugging him back. When Keith was finished his missions, he barely had any patience for debriefing. Kolivan seemed to notice this and mercifully kept it short. Sometimes Keith would stay at the base afterwards and go back to Lance at the castle the next day but more often than not he just couldn’t wait. 

Keith knew even as he docked his pod and walked through the hangers that Lance would be asleep. He went back and forth in his head, wondering if he should just slip into his own room and not disturb his boyfriend; wait and surprise Lance in the morning. Maybe with breakfast in bed. 

As Keith passed his own door, he didn't even hesitate to keep walking. The door to Lance’s room was unlocked. He knew his boyfriend did that for these occasions, allowing Keith to slip in at any time. Lance had told him so and Keith still remembered the soft caress of the other boy’s fingers against his cheek, the pressure against his forehead when Lance pressed them together. He remembered the soft look in his blue eyes when Lance told him, “I’ll leave it open so you always have a place to come home. No matter what.”Keith hadn’t said anything, afraid of what might come out of his mouth. Somehow Lance seemed to understand.

The red paladin was currently asleep, facing the wall. His bare back moved with each soft breath. Keith tried to be as silent as possible while sliding off his skin tight suit. He was sure Lance wouldn't mind him slipping into bed in his underwear. The bed was warm, Lance’s body heat and scent wrapping around Keith like a protective cocoon. 

He knew he shouldn’t wake his boyfriend, but as Keith lay on his back he knew it wasn’t enough. He turned carefully on his side, reaching to touch Lance’s back, finger tips barely brushing over the scars there. He needed it, that physical contact to grounded him. Just as Keith sighed in relief, Lance’s muscles tensed and he made a soft groaning sound. Keith felt guilty as his boyfriend carefully turned around to face him. 

“Keith?” Lance murmured, rubbing at his eyes. “You here?”

“Who else would be sneaking into your bed?” Keith demanded, hiding his blush behind the snark. 

“A better question is who  _ wouldn’t _ want to slip into bed with me,” Lance replied. “I have quite the fan base, I’ll have you know.” He was shifting again, one arm on each side of Keith, hovering with barely an inch between their faces. Keith closed his eyes as Lance’s lips brushed over his own. 

Keith’s eyes fluttered open again and he snorted. “Right. How could I forget,  _ Loverboy _ ? Do you have to beat them off with a stick?”

Lance laughed, kissing him again before laying back down. His arms wrapped around Keith, rolling his boyfriend in against his chest. Keith gladly buried his face in Lance’s neck, nuzzling against his shoulder. Lance’s arm tightened around Keith’s shoulders as he kissed the top of his dark head. The paladin’s other hand gently caressed his lower back before sliding down and grabbing a handful of his ass. It wasn’t a hard squeeze and Lance just made a soft sound of appreciation before the hand returned to Keith’s lower back, pressing gently. Keith shimmied a little closer, leaving soft little kisses against warm, tan skin and Lance squeezed him tight.

“I’m glad you’re home,” Lance murmured against his hair. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Me too,” Keith whispered. “I...I’m glad your safe, too.”

XXXX

Lance never seemed to get frustrated with Keith’s slow progress when it came to learning what it meant to be one half of a couple. He just accepted it for what it was, celebrating every small victory. Even though Keith may have thought that his boyfriend had everything together, Lance was struggling. 

It became a little easier for Lance to let him go back to the BOM as they got closer. He could trust that Keith would look after himself when Lance wasn’t around to do so. He could trust that Keith would always come back to him like he had so many times before.

Every night Kieth spent in the castle, he was together with Lance. They’d both come to expect it and to dread being apart. It only made sense then, that they share a room or ‘move in together’. It may have been a huge step back on Earth but it was a little different in this context. Still, Lance was at a loss on how to initiate this concept to Keith. All of his ideas and hints seemed to fall short. 

“Do you want a shower? The bathroom’s free,” Lance said offhandedly. He finished drying his hair and tossed the towel into the laundry. Keith watched him from his spot sitting cross legged on the bed. 

“Yea, I could use a shower,” Keith nodded. 

“Do you wanna wear something of mine to sleep in?” Lance asked. Keith still kept all of his things in his room and while it was only next door, Lance didn’t see why he couldn't move his few possessions over. At least it came with some perks, like seeing Keith in a pair of his own shorts and a T-shirt just a little too long. 

“Um,” Keith seemed to hesitate, like he thought there may have been a wrong answer to this question. 

Lance tilted his head. “You look cute in my clothes,” he grinned, stepping forward and leaning in to press a kiss close to Keith’s eye. “But if you wanna grab your own shower stuff, that’s fine.”

“Shower stuff? Like shampoo?” Keith repeated before nodding. “Can’t I just-” He stopped himself from asking why he couldn't just use Lance’s stuff when he remembered that Lance had started collecting soaps and hair products from the different planets and maybe wanted to save that stuff. Keith didn’t care what he used anywat, something that Lance teased him about. The basic stuff he’d found already in the bathrooms was fine by him. 

Lance waited patiently, wanting to hear the rest of what Keith was about to say. He tried not to show his disappointment when Keith just shrugged his shoulders and stood. “Actually, I’ll just go shower and change in my room. It’s easier.”

“Oh. Right. Yea, okay then,” Lance nodded, trying for understanding. “Sure. I’ll wait up for you. Don’t take too long.”

Keith kissed him before he left and Lance held in his sigh until his boyfriend was out of the room. Afterwards, he allowed himself to flop onto his back on the bed. Rubbing his face, Lance groaned to himself. He knew that Keith needed space and some time alone so he understood that maybe he felt more at ease having a little break from Lance once in awhile. It really shouldn't bother him but Lance couldn’t help it. Wasn’t being away on missions time enough? Lance tried to be understanding about that too. He’d expressed his concerns at first but he still supported Keith’s decision. It was just...hard. 

Lance dragged himself up the bed and lay on his side, pulling out his old phone from Earth. It had been useless for a long time after it had initially died but Pidge had been able to rig up an adapter and a way to charge it. At least now Lance could look at some of the old pictures of his family which always made him feel better. He was just idly scrolling through the photos when there was a soft knock at the door. He knew it was only Keith and sure enough, a second later the door slid open. 

Keith hadn’t taken very long to shower and brush his teeth. His hair was still damp and there were a few wet spots on the shoulder of his T-shirt where it had dripped. His sweat pants were a little big and hung slightly on his hips. Something that Lance greatly appreciated. 

“Long time no see,” Lance grinned up at his boyfriend. He set the phone on the nightstand and shuffled closer to the wall. Keith slid in beside him. 

With no words exchanged and minimal shuffling, Keith turned on his side, Lance pressing against his back. The paladin’s arm came out from under the blankets to drape over Keith, holding the blanket tight to him. He could feel Keith pressing back against him and smiled as he buried his face in the other boy’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” Lance said softly. 

Keith opened his mouth. The words stuck somewhere in the back of his throat. Why couldn't he just say it? Too much time had passed now, he’d missed this chance. Lance didn’t seem bothered at all, just kissed his boyfriend’s shoulder and settled in for the night. 

XXXX

Usually Keith knew exactly who to go to when he needed information. This time he was pretty sure that even the combined knowledge and expertise of his team would not be enough to solve his problem. The logical choice would have been to ask someone from the blade. However, this was so far beyond the scope of Keith’s relationship with anyone there that he couldn't even entertain the idea. 

Keith wanted birth control. 

No one had bought anything with them when they left Earth and Keith wasn’t even sure if there was such a thing as alien condoms or not. If so, would they work for humans? Obviously he couldn’t just go get a prescription for pills or shots or something. Would that have even worked if he was on Earth? He knew so little about it but he was pretty sure it had to do with hormones and he didn’t even know if those same hormones were applicable for him. 

The only girls he knew were Pidge and Allura. He doubted that had ever been something that interested Pidge enough for her to look into and she was more like a baby sister. Keith couldn’t imagine asking his little sister for advice on birth control. 

So, Allura seemed the obvious choice. However, she was Altean, not part Galra. She may have had a basic biological understanding but Keith wasn't sure how much she knew that could really help him here. 

Coran, being the oldest and most experienced, would probably know something. But, Keith felt more comfortable asking Allura first. Maybe she could even talk to Coran for him. So, Keith waited for the right time to get the princess alone and ask her. 

His chance came one day when Allura was sitting quietly in the lounge as Keith walked in. She glanced up briefly and smiled when she saw who it was. No one else was around at the moment and although Keith had originally been looking for Lance, he felt the need to seize this opportunity. 

“Hello, Keith,” Allura said pleasantly. 

Keith nodded in response. She seemed to assume that he would be taking his leave so the surprise showed briefly on her face when Keith took a seat next to her. 

“Allura, can I ask you a question?” 

Allura looked carefully interested, setting her data pad down to the side and turning towards him. “Of course. Is something wrong?” Allura looked at him with her big blue eyes and Keith tried not to smile.

“Um, no. Not wrong. Just…”” Keith trailed of awkwardly, his eyes moving around the room. Allura leaned in closer. “I just wanted to know if you….maybe had any ideas about….um….” Keith’s face turned bright red and he cleared his throat. The words he wanted to say got lost somewhere on his tongue. “Do you have any information on Galra biology?”

Allura took a moment to process this question. “Hm…” The princess tapped her chin with one finger, mulling the question over. “What do you want to know exactly?”She tilted her head and looked at Keith with a concerned expression. 

“Um...reproduction?” he asked quietly. 

To her credit, Allura didn’t even blush. A flash of understanding crossed her face and she nodded, reaching for the data pad again. “If you really want to know about reproduction, I’ll send you some information we have stored in the castle’s database. But I get the feeling there’s something more specific you had in mind?” Allura peaked up from her pad and watched as Keith nodded. “Right.” Allura cleared her throat. “Um….so how do humans…? What would you normally….?

Keith almost laughed at how flustered Allura looked but his own mortification at the situation overshadowed his amusement. “Um…”

“That’s one area about humans I haven’t...asked about,” Allura looked apologetic as she admitted this. Keith quickly shook his head. 

“It’s fine. I just...It’s weird that I’m the one to be talking to you about this…”

“It is rather unexpected, isn’t it?” Allura allowed, an amused smile tugging at her lips. 

Keith sighed as he nodded but he launched into as decent an explanation of different types of birth control as he could manage. Allura nodded along, absorbing the information with a serious expression. 

“Um..I don’t know about these...condoms. We did have similar devices on altea but everything in the ship is going to be 10,000 years old. Even by the standards of Altean technology, that’s too long to rely on anything still being effective,” Allura mused. Keith nodded slowly, biting his lip. “I think these pills and such you spoke of may be possible though. Only, instead of this estrogen you mentioned, we’ll have to figure out what hormone it is that causes the secondary sexual organs to become active in galra. That should be easy enough to look up in the database and I’m sure Coran will be able to make something up for you. I’ll speak with him if you like.”

Keith smiled softly. “Thank you, Allura.” 

“Of course, Keith!” Allura grinned in a way that showed she was more than happy to be of help to her paladins. 

XXXX

“I don’t know what to do, guys,” Lance huffed. He slumped across the kitchen counter where Pidge was sitting cross legged and fiddling with some piece of tech. Hunk was busy at the stove, his delicious way of destressing. 

“Don’t worry, Keith will be back soon, buddy,” Hunk assured him. 

“If you’re that bored why don’t you go to the training deck or something?” Pidge replied, not looking up. 

“I’m not bored,” Lance huffed. “I’m having boyfriend troubles.”

“What kind of troubles?” Pidge asked, suddenly looking more interested as she lowered the hand holding what looked like a screwdriver. 

“Is it bad?” Hunk asked, looking concerned as he glanced at Lance over his shoulder. Setting the tray into the oven, Hunk wiped his hands and came over to give his undivided attention. 

‘No,” Lance replied, hopping up on the counter beside Pidge. “It’s not really bad. I’m just not sure how to bring it up with him.”

Hunk and Pidge exchanged a look. 

“I though we went over this, buddy,” Hunk sighed. “Didn’t you guys learn the last time that you just need to be honest?”

“Yea…” Lance admitted. “I’m trying to like….drop hints and stuff that I want him to kind of like move in with me but…”

“Wait, move in?” Pidge raised an eyebrow. “You’re worried about that? Isn’t his room right next to yours?”

“Well yea, but that’s not the point,” Lance huffed. “He doesn’t even leave his toothbrush at my place. He showers in his own room and stuff which is fine but….it just feels like he’s still keeping a lot of distance, like he still wants to keep our relationship at arm’s length or something.”

Hunk looked at Pidge again. Lance frowned. 

“Stop doing that, you guys! Just say what you’re thinking!” he huffed, crossing his arms. 

“We just think you’re reading too much into it,” Pidge replied calmly, shrugging one shoulder. She went back to fiddling with whatever was in her hands. Lance looked like he was about to say something, maybe protest, but he looked to Hunk instead. 

“You know what Keith is like,” Hunk shrugged. “Hints aren’t going to work. He probably just doesn’t get that you want him to leave his stuff over there.”

“But I told him to bring his stuff over! I even told him I had room for clothes if he wanted to keep some stuff in my room,” Lance huffed. “It’s not like he even has much anyway. His room looks like no one even lives there.”

“Have you said explicitly that’s what  _ you  _ want or have you just casually mentioned it?’ Hunk asked calmly. 

Lance seemed to debate the answer. “I don’t just want to go up to him and be all  _ ‘Keith you're moving in with me so get your stuff.’ _ One, that’s kind of rude and two, Kith likes his space.”

“Yea, but he might think you’re just being nice if you only make off handed comments. Like you’re offering just because it’s the decent thing to do,” Hunk pointed out. He knew by the expression on Lance’s face that he had him there. 

“Look at it this way,” Pidge finally set her project aside and turned fully towards Lance, adjusting her glasses. “Keith is independent, right? He’s not afraid to state his opinion. If he doesn't agree with something he doesn’t really hold back.” Lance nodded, motioning for her to continue. “So, you might as well just be upfront with him. Tell him how you feel and exactly what you want. Keith definitely cares about you and wants you to be happy.” Pidge kept speaking quickly, feeling the tension that appeared as they all shared the same collective memory of Lance explaining to the others what Keith had told him while he’d been resting up after the healing pod. She remembered all too clearly the way Lance had clutched at his chest and let out a heartbreaking sob as he told them that Keith lied and ran away with the BOM in some stupid attempt to free Lance and his future from the weight of Keith’s decision to keep their baby.  “But I don’t think Keith is just going to go along with something if he doesn’t agree. He’s not exactly a push over and you two argue about stuff all the time.”

“Pidge is right,” Hunk chimed in. “You do argue a lot. So why wouldn't he argue with you about this?” 

Lance frowned, mulling this over. It wasn’t how he imagined his future relationships, that was for sure. It felt weird to him, to be so upfront about what he wanted from his partner. That wasn't exactly Lance’s style. He was a people pleaser, he liked to make people happy, not demand things from them. It was kinda out of his comfort zone. 

“So...you think I should just be upfront?” he reiterated. Hunk and Pidge nodded  in unison. “You think Keith will tell me if he agrees or not?”

“Yep,” Pidge chirped. 

“I’m sure once you guys are both just honest with exactly what you want you can compromise, right?” Hunk added, smiling now that Lance seemed to be getting on board.

“Yea,” Lance nodded slowly. “I guess you guys are right.”

“Uh. yea? We’re always right?’ Pidge snorted. 

Lance laughed and slung his arm around her shoulders. Pidge grunted but couldn't hide her smile. “So what’s cooking that smells so delicious, big guy?” 

XXXX

When Keith returned to the castle, he fully intended to go straight to his room and shower. However, his boyfriend seemed to know exactly what it was that he really wanted. So, when Keith walked out of the hanger, Lance was waiting. Without a word, he pulled Keith in for a long hug, pressing the other boy close against himself. Keith buried his face in Lance’s shoulder and breathed him in. 

“I missed you,” Lance said softly. 

“Me too.” Keith’s voice was little more than a whisper but it made Lance smile and hug him even tighter. 

Lance followed Keith back to his room afterwards, throwing himself down on the bed and watching Keith strip out of his tight black suit. Keith ignored the smirking and the way Lance’s eyes trailed over his back. 

“I’m gonna have a shower,” Keith murmured, heading for the bathroom. 

“Take your time,” Lance replied, lounging back on Keith’s bed with his hands behind his head. The smiled stayed in place until the bathroom door shut. Then Lance’s expression dropped and he allowed himself those few moments of weakness he needed after seeing Keith back home and safe. It scared him, every single time he left and having him back made the relief he felt wash over him in an all encompassing wave. After almost losing Keith, after losing their baby, Lance was terrified of it happening again. 

His eyes closed and Lance listened to the sound of the water running in the bathroom. Listened to it stop and the shuffling sounds of Keith drying himself, pulling on his clothes. He listened to the faucet run and knew Keith must have been brushing his teeth. There were a few moments of silence and Lance started to sit up slowly just as Keith emerged. His hair was brushed back into a ponytail and Lance wondered if Keith knew how much he liked that. 

“Welcome home, Samurai,” Lance grinned, motioning for Keith to come closer. 

The dark haired boy made a grunting noise and ducked his head to hide his smile. Lance just laughed, holding out an arm. He didn’t have to offer any more encouragement, Keith more than happy to take the invitation. He curled up against Lance’s side, nuzzling into his chest while Lance wrapped his arms around him again. Lance’s eyes closed when he felt Keith’s hand rubbing wide, soothing circles over his back. 

“Keith?”

“Hmph?”

“I was thinking about this a bit and I don’t know if it feels sudden or something but I want you to move in with me,” Lance said. There, he got it out there and for a moment it felt good to finally just speak his mind plainly. That was, until he felt Keith, stiff and quiet in his arms. 

“But we do already live together,” Keith frowned, pulling away slightly. “What are you talking about?”

Lance laughed, which only made Keith furrow his brow even more and look concerned. “Well, okay but what I mean is that I want you to move your stuff into my room so you don’t have to keep going back and forth,” Lance replied. His hand carded slowly through Keith’s hair and down his back. 

“But our rooms are right beside each other’s,” Keith frowned. He still didn’t pull away from him which Lance took to as a good sign. 

“Yea, I know but….” Lance paused, shifting to face Keith better. In response, Keith pulled his legs up under him and they both sat cross legged. “Okay, so the thing is I just like the idea that it’s another step forward, you know? It’s like….I guess it’s like saying that we’re a part of each other’s lives?” Lance reached forward and gently took Keith's hands in his own. “It makes sense, right? I mean, I have a lot more stuff so it’s less work for you to just leave stuff over in my room. You’re there all the time anyways.”

Keith was quiet for a moment, breaking eye contact as he glanced at their hands folded together. His thumb stroked gently over the back of Lance’s hand. “I get what you’re saying….” Keith said slowly. The thing was, it seemed strange. Keith wasn’t used to leaving much of an impression in people’s lives. Usually it was about leaving as little impact as possible because he would be gone again soon. It had always come so easily and naturally to him.

“Look, it doesn’t…” Lance sighed and gave Keith’s hand a squeeze. “I don’t want to push you too hard but I just wanted to let you know that it’s important to me that you feel….comfortable? Welcome? I dunno, man but you get it, right? Mi casa es su casa?” Lance grinned when he saw Keith try to hide a smile which only made him grin wider. Lance leaned in, catching his boyfriend’s eye. His hand came up, cupping Keith’s chin and kissing him softly. Relief flooded his chest when Keith kissed him back. His fingers stayed tangled in Keith's hair, leaning their foreheads together. “I love you. So much.”

Keith opened his mouth, getting choked up again as soon as he tried to make sound come out. He closed his mouth, jaw tight and started to lean away. It was frustrating. Why couldn't he just tell Lance how he felt? Why couldn’t he just say something so fucking simple? He had every intention of saying it but nothing would ever come out. 

“Hey, it’s cool,” Lance said quickly. Before Keith could start getting down on himself, he leaned in to his boyfriend again, giving him a soft, reassuring smile. “I know...I know you care about me and stuff. You don’t need to say it out loud.” He looked serious, keeping eye contact. “Really. Don’t push yourself, Keith. I always...I always come on too strong and say things to early. That’s how I am, right?’ Lance shrugged one shoulder. “That’s not...Everyone is different so don’t do something stupid like feel all bad about it. It’s really important that you know I love you, that’s all.”

Lance hoped he didn’t come across pitiful. He didn’t want Keith to feel bad for him, which was why he held back. He didn’t tell Kieth that he’d always been the one to say  _ I love you _ first. Sometimes he never got to hear it back and he tried not to let that bother him. Lance had come to the conclusion that he was always going to care more. Sometimes that happened, someone cared more in the relationship and that was him. With Keith it was different though, he didn’t feel nervous or ashamed of the strength of his feelings. There were a lot of ways he noticed Keith trying to show how much he cared. It didn't feel scary to admit how much he loved Keith. 

Keith sighed. “I know but I…” 

Keith looked lost and Lance knew that he should wait, let Keith figure out what was going on in his own head. Lance only became concerned when he saw Keith’s face change into a determined expression. 

“Keith?” Lance tried to hide the panic in his voice when his boyfriend stood up suddenly, moving with purpose towards the door. “Keith…” Lance stood as well, watching Keith stepping into his boots and snatching his knife from the bedside table. Still without speaking, he headed into the bathroom. Keith was in there hardly a minute before he was back out again with something in his hands. Lance’s eyebrows shot up when Keith made a beeline for his closet and gathered the few outfits inside into his arms before leaving the room. 

“Wait, where are you going?!” Lance started to panic then, heart hammering as he followed Kieth into the hall. He wasn’t going to leave again, was he? “Keith, please! I didn’t-” The rest of the words died in his mouth when Keith calmly stepped into Lance’s bedroom and deposited his arm load onto the bed. Lance stood in the doorway, watching Keith calmly hang his clothes up in the space Lance had created by pushing his own clothes to the side. 

“What are you doing?” Lance asked softly, finally stepping inside and allowing the doors to close. 

“I’m moving in with you,” Keith replied. His tone was matter of fact but Lance could see the red tint to his face, the uncertainty in his eyes when he stopped and looked at Lance. “I want to. I want to...to prove that I’m not going anywhere. That’s what you wanted right? Proof that I...that I’m committed?” 

Lance was almost too stunned to let Keith’s words fully sink in. He stepped closer, gently pulling his boyfriend into his arms. Keith stepped into the embrace, head turned to the side. His arms came up, hands pressing into Lance’s back as if to push him closer. 

“Yea,” Lance said softly, nuzzling into Keith’s hair. “That’s exactly what I want.”

Keith gave his boyfriend another tight squeeze before stepping back enough to look him in the face. “Good.”

Lance grinned before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I guess you really do love me, huh?”

“Yea,” Keith said softly. “I do.”

XXXX

Sharing a bedroom was really the best thing for the both of them. At night, when they were alone in one or the other’s bedroom, that was when they talked and held each other the way they wanted. That was when Lance would wrap his arm around Keith's shoulders,  Keith resting his head on Lance’s chest. It was when Keith’s arms tightened around Lance and held him, rubbing his back and carding his fingers through Lance’s hair. It was when Lance sighed in contentment and Keith allowed himself to smile. 

That particular night, Lance was on his back, one arm under Keith's waist and his face turned into Keith's collar bone. A few soft kisses against his skin made Keith shiver. Before he realised what he was doing, Keith moved his leg up, draping it across Lance’s hips. Lance in turn, slid his hand from where it rested lightly on top of Keith's rib cage down to grip his thigh and shuffle closer. 

Keith stilled, tensing before relaxing again and going back to stroking Lance’s hair. 

“Is that okay?” Lance asked softly, his grip loosening. 

“Yea,” Keith said softly. 

Lance turned his head enough to show his face and look at Keith. “You can say no,” he murmured. “It’s okay to say it. I’d rather you be comfortable. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings or something, okay?”

Keith was silent for a beat before, “okay.”

“Okay, well you say okay but I don’t think it’s okay,” Lance frowned. “Are you just staying that to get the conversation over with?”

“No,” Keith replied. Lance recognized the annoyed tone. “I said it’s okay. Just leave it alone.”

Lance made a move to push himself up on his elbows but thought better of it when Keith only latched on tighter. The hand draped across Lance’s torso grabbed the bunched material of Lance’s shirt where it had been pushed up, Keight’s weight pressing into Lance. 

Taking the cue for what it was, Lance settled back into position again. The arm under Keith shifted to a spot where there wasn’t any weight on it and he stroked softly over Keith's lower back. He nuzzled into the hollow of his throat and Keith buried his face in Lance’s hair. The hand at the paladin’s side moved back down to the exposed section of skin and gently stroked over it with one thumb. 

The silence was broken by Keith this time. “Are  _ you _ okay?” he asked quietly. 

Lance’s eyes were closed, everything focused on the warmth and physical sensations. “Hm? Yea, of course,” he replied, emphasising his words with another soft kiss. 

“You can tell me if it’s too much, too,” Keith frowned, trying not to let himself get lulled into the touch too much. He knew Lance and knew he would let Keith get away with anything at the expense of his own comfort. 

Lance only laughed at that, the sound vibrating against Keith’s chest. “Don’t worry about me. I doubt there’s enough touching  _ you  _ could do to make me uncomfortable.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Keith frowned, his competitive instincts flairing up at the emphasize on  _ you _ . 

Lance seemed sheepish as he pulled away again to look up at him. “Sorry, that came out wrong. It’s just, you know how I can be.” Lance made a movement that was probably supposed to be a shrug of some sort. “You’re not...really a touchy person, right? Which is fine but like, I am. I’m used to it and when it’s from you…”

Keith was certain that he hadn’t imagined the blush on Lance’s face. His eyes narrowed when the other boy trailed off and didn't finish. “When it’s from me, what?”

“Well, I like you,” Lanec shrugged. “I..I love you. When it’s you touching me….I dunno I guess it just makes me really happy. Like you….want me or whatever.”

Keith frowned, his lips in a tight line. Lance had told him he loved him a few time snow and Keith still hadn’t been able to say it back yet. “I do want you,” he replied instead. 

“I know but it’s just…” Lance made a shrugging motion again, looking embarrassed. “I guess it’s just nice to...to have a reminder? Sometimes?” It came out as more of a question and Lance sighed. “Whatever. You know what I mean.  It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Keith said softly. His thumb stopped stroking Lance’s side, sliding further up his shirt instead and running over his stomach. Keith leaned in to kiss him. “I just...didn’t know you liked it when I touched you and stuff.”

Lance blinked up at him. “Well...I...I mean….Yea. I do. Of course I do. You’re my boyfriend. I like cuddling my boyfriend. A lot.”

Keith flushed, shifting his body even more on top of Lance and burying his face in Lance’s hair again. The other boy stilled before recognising the behaviour as just Keith’s embarrassment. He chuckled as he shifted his arm from under Keith’s waist up to just under his armpit, using that hand to stroke his boyfriend's back. The other hand trailed up Keith’s thigh and sneakily, squeezed his ass. Keith made a pleasurable sound and Lance laughed again, kissing his boyfriend’s neck.

There was a moment of silence that Lance knew meant Keith was thinking hard about something. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to….” he trailed off, not knowing how to phrase it. The touching and kissing was nothing new but Lance had a hard time with recognising Keith’s line between affectionate and sexual. 

“No,” Keith said quickly. He meant to say more but he hesitated too long, trying to sort through the words in his head. 

“Okay,” Lance said softly. “I-”

“No,” Keith said again. He pressed himself closer to Lance, pulling his boyfriend into him. “I’m just…. I asked Allura about it…” Keith paused, biting his lower lip. 

Lance frowned, instantly concerned. Keith didn’t often think things through and that was because if he did stop and consider something, he’d wind up over thinking it. “Hey, babe,” Lance whispered, He gently stroked Keith's hair. “Just say it.”

“I asked Allura about some kind of birth control or something so we can…” Keith trailed off with a sigh. 

The silence that followed was excruciating. Keith realised he’d been expecting Lance to be happy at the idea of finally getting to have sex again. He wasn’t sure if maybe he’d read the situation wrong. Lance hadn’t even mentioned it, other than a few sleazy pick up lines and flirtatious winks but those were all to either annoy Keith or make him laugh. 

Keith considered the idea that maybe Lance was more traumatized by the accidental pregnancy and the resulting loss than he thought. Keith had been terrified and devastated in equal measure but Lance had always seemed so cool and calm. He only cried once in front of Keith, sobbing until his chest heaved and he couldn't breath. Somehow that had actually made Keith feel better. At least he hadn’t had to feel everything alone. After that, they’d started to heal but maybe it wasn’t enough yet. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to do anything, I just thought…”

“Are you ready?” Lance interrupted. He shifted so they were side by side, able to look each other in the eye. Lance’s hand rested against Keith’s cheek. 

Keith blinked back at him before nodding slowly. “Yea...I think so…”

Lance frowned. “You think?”

“I want to. It’s just weird. I didn’t know how to bring it up and I didn’t really want to do anything without protection because I know that you can pull out but I don’t really want to rely only on that and I don’t know how long it’s going to take for Coran to figure it out but I also don’t want to keep you waiting and I was worried about what to say if you brought it up but then you never said anything and I’ve just been getting more nervous that you were getting impatient so I wanted to let you know that it will be soon so don’t worry and-”

“Jesus Christ!” Lance explained. “¡Que mierda! ¡Estás loco!”

“What?” Keith blinked at him. 

“I said you’re crazy,” Lance replied, moving to sit up. Keith watched as he ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Keith scowled as he sat up. 

Lance turned to look at him with an expression caught somewhere between wanting to laugh and needing to cry. Keith closed his mouth, anything else he was about to say withering on his tongue. 

“Do you really think I give a shit about that?” Lance demanded. “You think I’m marking down the days since I last got to fuck?”

Keith realised belatedly that Lance was mad. He blinked, wide eyed and unsure how to answer. Lance turned away with a sigh, running his hands through his hair again and seeming to compose himself. Keith hesitated, wanting to touch his shoulder in reassurance but all his instincts screamed at him to leave. If Lance was mad at him then he didn’t want to be around, it wasn't like Keith did anything wrong. But Keith was learning. He was getting better with this, with not running when things were difficult. Instead of getting defensive, Keith waited

“I’m sorry, I…” Lance paused, taking a breath and starting again as he turned to his boyfriend. Lance’s hand reached out and gently ran through Keith's hair, stopping to cup his cheek. “I didn’t mean to get mad. I’m not mad at you.”

“Could have fooled me,” Keith grumbled. So maybe, he’s not totally changed. 

Lance just quirked his lips in a small smile. “Fair,” he shrugged. It was why Keith loved him so much, why he was able to handle Keith. He knew when Keith lashed out as an expression of his own hurt and vulnerability and didn’t take it personally. Keith leaned into the hand on his cheek and Lance stroked his thumb over the soft skin, both expressing their truce.  

Lance took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking again. “Look, I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m like...on pins and needles waiting for you to be ready to have sex again. Don’t get me wrong, I mean  _ hello _ ” Lance took his hand from Keith’s face to gesture at his boyfriend. “You’re gorgeous and I love you to bits so yes, I am definitely interested if it’s on the table but…” Lance paused, smiling softly as he took Keith’s hand in his own. “You’re more important to me than anything, babe. I just want you to be happy and comfortable. If you’re ready then that’s great but if you’re not, please don’t try to push yourself, okay? Please, for me?”

Keith looked away, uncomfortable and awkward with the weight of his own feelings and the raw emotion in Lance’s eyes. Lance allowed him the moment of broken eye contact to regroup, gently squeezing his hand in reassurance.

“What if I’m not ready for a long time? What if it’s...forever?” Keith asked. His voice didn’t crack, coming out stronger than he’d actually expected it to. 

Lance squeezed his hand again, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. His other hand cupped the back of Keith’s head. “Keith, I can live without sex. I can’t live without you.”

It was so simple and yet such a powerful sentiment that Keith felt his throat close up painfully. Hot tears pricked at his eyes, pressure building at his temple. He pushed forward, kissing his boyfriend and taking comfort in the way Lance responded. Keith was terrible with words but this was how he could communicate. Stupidly, Keith kept trying to deepen the kiss.Somewhere in his mixed up head, he thought maybe they could gloss over it, forget about such an intimate moment and cover it with something more physical.

Lance wasn’t having any of it. He pulled back a little each time Keith tried, his kisses staying gentle and loving. Keith gave in, letting himself fall into the way Lance cupped his face with both hands and took everything so slow. 

Keith rested his hands on Lance’s shoulders, breaking the kiss to lean forward into a tight hug. He rubbed Lance’s back, feeling his boyfriend nuzzle against his neck. When he finally pulled back and allowed Lance to see his face again, he was much more composed. 

“I am ready,” Keith whispered, forcing himself to make eye contact. Lance seemed surprised and then somewhat embarrassed. “At least, I will be. Soon. Not...not right now…”

Lance actually seemed relieved. “Okay,” he nodded, leaving it at that. 

They curled back up with each other, Lance tugging the blankets around them and Keith holding his boyfriend against his chest. They lay in comfortable silence, soft touches and gentle strokes let them know that they were both still awake. 

Lance was the one to break the silence. “You know...if you’re ready and we still haven’t found any protection you could always top,” he made the suggestion sound so casual, so matter of fact. 

Keith stiffened, hand stilling in Lance’s hair. “You’d want to…? Have you….bottomed before?”

“Yea,” Lance replied, shrugging one shoulder. “Not in like...a long time.”

“You’ve been with other guys before?” Keith didn’t know why he asked that. He regretted it right away.    
“So have you,” Lance replied, sounding just a bit defensive. 

“I know I just thought...I thought it was just girls though,” Keith admitted sheepishly. 

“You...you couldn't tell?!” Lance seemed shocked. “Like when we first started fooling around and I… You couldn’t tell I knew what I was doing?”

“I was drunk! Mostly” Keith replied, his face most likely a terrible shade of red. “I mean, yeah it makes sense now that I think about it!”

Lance couldn't help laughing at his boyfriend’s embarrassment, even as Keith half heartedly told him to shove it. 

XXXX

“Hunk and I found some space condoms on the last planet we went to,” Lance’s grinning face took up most of the tablet screen but Keith could still clearly see his over the top hand gestures. “But I don’t know what kind of genitals the aliens there had because I have  _ no _ idea how those were supposed to work for us.”

He loved making Keith laugh, violet eyes shining as Lance described in great detail the shape of the condoms and how they seemed to have three separate compartments. Keith was about doubling up when Lance did an impression of a very confused and very uncomfortable Hunk attempting to be of some assistance.

“So I guess the search continues?” Keith asked, lips twitching upwards.    
“Afraid so,” Lance sighed, exaggerating his exasperation.

Keith opened his mouth to say something in reassurance but a sound from off screen had him turning and focusing on something else. 

“Sorry, Lance,” Keith sighed. “I gotta go.”

Lance could see the regret in his eyes and forced himself to smile wide. “Of course, babe! Kick some galra butt for me. And be careful out there.”

Keith’s expression was so soft and tender Lanec could feel his heart thumping hard in response. He wanted to reach out and touch him, run a thumb across his cheekbone, tuck a strand of that thick dark hair behind his ear, kiss that perfect little nose. 

“You too, baby blue,” Keith smield before signing off. 

Lance was able to hold it together until the tablet screen turned black. He grabbed a pillow and squealed into it, feet kicking like a teenage girl that had just texted her crush for the first time. 

Lance still didn’t know where that pet name had come from but no matter how many times Keith said it, Lance’s heart still soared with affection. 

“Keith…” he groaned to himself, flopping over on his side. 

After that, it took Lance longer than he would have ever admitted to get up again and start getting ready for bed. 

He dreaded going to bed alone lately,  wasn't used to it anymore. Even the headphones over his ears and the eye mask to block out any stray light did nothing to help. They couldn’t stop the overactive thoughts running through his mind and they couldn't replace the warmth and comfort that came from being held in his boyfriend’s arms. Nothing could replace Keith's fingers sliding through his hair and the gentle squeezes he’d give every so often. 

Lance lay there wide awake for close to two hours before he sighed, removing the eye mask and headphone, sitting up to punch at his pillow. He slammed himself back down on his bed with a huff, tugging the blankets in around himself. 

“Stupid Keith,” Lance muttered. 

It wasn’t fair that he had to fall in love with a guy that couldn’t even stick around. Lance had never felt this way before. He’d had relationships and he’d missed them when they were away but it wasn’t like this. Sure, he annoyed his friends and family with hid dramatics, wailing and draping himself across their shoulders, lamenting the absence of his girlfriend or boyfriend but that had been mostly for show. 

The calls and texts had been able to keep him sane but now, even though he got to see Keith’s face on his tablet screen and tell him he loved him and to be safe, he still missed his boyfriend so much he couldn't think of anything else. 

Maybe it was because he was worried about Keith being in danger. It was a lot harder not to be with him when he was imaging all the situations Keith was getting himself into. He couldn’t even comfort himself with the knowledge that Keith would be careful, that he would make sure to come back to Lance safe and sound. 

“Shit,” Lance muttered, feeling the anxiety rising in his chest. He groaned and rolled onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes. He just needed to start thinking about something else. Think about  bringing Keith back home to meet his family. 

That day dream usually did the trick for Lance. It was something that kept him going no matter how hard everything got. He could see it in his mind’s eye, proudly showing Keith off to his family. He could imagine his mom saying how handsome he looked. Veronica would probably tease him and ask how he managed to get such a good looking boyfriend with his face. He was pretty sure Marco and his dad would be impressed with Keith's piloting skills and Lance would make him show off his cool blade to them. 

Lance smiled softly to himself but the familiar ache started in his chest again, even as he tried to force it out. He tried thinking about the way Keith looked at him, the way Keith touched him and told him how much he cared about him, how much he adored Lance’s eyes and his smile. 

All those things still couldn't quite keep out the self doubt and Lance groaned again as he rolled over and face planted into his pillow. 

He’d never admit it, but Lance really wanted to make his partner proud. He wanted someone that loved him of course but he also wanted to be someone that his partner could proudly show off to their family and friends, like he imagined doing with Keith. 

Keith couldn’t really do that. Lance wasn’t impressive in any way, not compared to Keith himself. Sure, he was pretty good looking but Keith was gorgeous and besides, who was he going to show Lance off to? Shiro? Kolivan?

Lance actually snorted at that. Yea, right. They both probably wondered what the hell Keith was doing with him. 

Well, that wasn’t exactly fair considering that after the whole accidental pregnancy thing, Shiro had outright told Lance that he was glad he was the one with Keith and that Lance was good for him. 

Lance turned onto his back again, blinking into the darkness and playing that conversation out in his mind again. 

_ “If anyone is going to be there for Keith and the baby it’s you, Lance. You're dependable.” _

Lance remembered how happy he’d been to hear that validation from Shiro of all people. 

_ “Keith couldn't do any of this without you and he knows that. More than that, he cares about you. Keith doesn’t open up to anyone and he never lets anyone in. He did with you and that means something. Even if he’s closed himself off again.” _

Hunk had said something similar to him just the other day, and so had Pidge. Actually, now that Lance thought of it he even recalled Allura saying something about how she noticed positive changes in Keith and she was sure it was Lance’s influence. Maybe he was good for Keith.

Lance would just have to hope that his friends were right about that and he really was worthy of the boy he loved. 

XXXX

Lance awoke a few days later with the feeling that something was wrong. When he opened his eyes, everything was as it should be. His room was the same, his bed was the same. He was laying on his side, back to the wall. Nothing unusual. 

Wakefulness came slowly as Lance tried to reset his brain and figure out what was the matter. His bed was empty but that wasn’t unusual. Although something about that fact nagged at Lance and he stretched his arm out, feeling the spot beside him. It was warm, like someone had slept there recently. 

It came to him suddenly. Keith had been with him last night,. He remembered holding him close and Keith’s fingers trailing through his hair. Panic filled him then, a dead weight settling on his chest and making it hard to breath. It wouldn't be the first time that Keith woke up and left the castle on a mission with the BOM. Lance always hated it when he did that; made him feel abandoned. Which was ridiculous considering Keith had important work to consider and it wasn’t like Lance was left twiddling his thumbs either. They had things to do. Things more important than snuggling together in bed all morning. Even though, to Lance there was really nothing more important than that. 

Before he was even fully conscious, Lance was out of bed, pulling on a shirt. Keith’s side was still warm, which meant he must have just left the bed. If Lance hurried he might be able to catch him before he left and say goodbye. Maybe get a hug and a kiss and-

“Lance?”

The red paladin looked up, blinking in surprise as he saw Keith standing in front of the bathroom door. His hair was a mess and he was wearing Lance’s blue robe. He rubbed his eyes and yawned but there was a concerned tilt to his mouth as he took in Lance’s frantic appearance. 

“Keith?” Lance moved towards him, reach out a hand. Keith stepped forward. “You’re still here?”

“Yea,” Keith replied as though it were obvious. “Is everything okay? It’s three in the morning. Why are you getting dressed? The alarms didn’t go off.” He didn’t make any protests as Lance gently engulfed him in a hug. Keith rubbed his cheek against Lance’s making a content sound. Lance always loved sleepy, affectionate Keith.

“I thought you left,” Lance whispered, his hold tightening. 

“I went to the bathroom,” Keith offered. 

“Yea, I just….” Lance sighed, squeezing Keith tight one last time before leading him over to bed. Keith didn’t say a word before climbing in. Lance followed him and they turned to face each other. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Keith frowned. “You look…” Frantic, haunted, scared. All were perfectly good descriptors for the way Lance had looked when Keith entered the room. 

“Yea, I just…” Lance sighed. He knew this had been a long time coming but he was still unsure how to word his request. “I just...I don’t think I can do this anymore, Keith.”

Keith’s eyes widened and he looked so frightened, Lance felt his own adrenaline spike in response. “I don’t want to keep waking up with you gone,” Lance said quickly. “It’s too hard. I don’t want to go through that every morning when you just take off. I can’t handle it anymore, Keith. I’m sorry.”

“You want to break up.” Keith didn’t word it as a question but his voice was so small and hesitant Lance barely recognized it. Keith started to sit up but Lance beat him to it. 

“No! Of course not!” 

Keith frowned. “But you just said…”

“I know what I said!” Lance snapped. He knew his level of agitation was unwarranted but it wasn’t the first time a small disagreement between them resulted in Keith wanting to break up. “Stop saying that!”

“But if you’re unhappy-”

“Then we can find a way to fix it!” Lance huffed. He knew his voice was too loud for this time of night but he couldn't help it. “We can’t even talk about our problems because you just want to break up at every little speed bump! Relationships take work Keith. Do you really think that you just walk out on someone whenever things aren’t going perfectly your way? When you love someone do you just take off on them?”

Keith was uncomfortably silent. Lance waited but still received no response. His heart clenched uncomfortably in his chest. “Well?” Lance asked impatiently. 

Keith mumbled something too quiet to make out. 

“What?” Lance frowned. 

“I guess so,” Keith replied, louder this time and with a distinct edge of annoyance. “Yea, I guess you do.”

“No, Keith! People don’t just leave when they love you! They don’t just abandon-” Lance knew he was getting worked up and fully expected Keith to start arguing back with just as much heat. The dark haired boy was uncharacteristically silent, head down as he looked at a spot on the blanket. After a beat, he looked up, wondering why Lance had stopped talking. The red paladin was just looking at him silently. 

“Keith do you….” Lance cleared his throat and tried again. “Do you honestly think that’s the way to do things when you love someone?”

Keith just shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know…” he replied softly. He was afraid to admit that Lance was right. Maybe all the people who’d left him in his life hadn’t loved him after all. He would rather think his mom had loved him and gone away than stayed and not loved him at all. Keith took a small breath before he spoke again. “Look, if I’m not making you happy then you should be with someone who does.”

“But you do make me happy!” Lance protested in exasperation. “It’s just that when you leave in the middle of the night and I don’t even get to say goodbye, it scares me! What if I never see you again after that? I don’t even get to give you a goodbye kiss or tell you to be safe or anything. I don't like it when you abandon me and-”

Lance stopped, releasing what he’d said. He hadn’t meant to say that. It wasn’t really what Keith did but it was how he felt. When he still didn’t speak, Keith shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Lance’s shoulder and pulling him close. Lance allowed his head to fall to Keith’s shoulder as his boyfriend stroked his fingers through the soft brown strands.  

“I’m sorry,” Keith murmured. “I didn’t think….I didn’t want to wake you up. I knew you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again if I did and you don’t get enough sleep as it is.”

Lance knew that was true. As much as he liked to hide that fact, Keith could see it plain as day and Lance always slept better when he was holding his boyfriend or vise versa. Lance still said nothing. 

“I’m sorry,” Keith repeated, giving his boyfriend a squeeze. “I’ll wake you up from now on. I promise. I’ll tell them not to contact me at night unless it’s urgent. Okay?”

“You don’t have to-”

Keith cut him off with a finger to his lips. “I do,” He said softly. “It’s fine. You’re...you’re my priority.” Keith could just feel his face going red and if he thought Lance was too nice to make fun of him he was wrong.

“Ooh, someone’s blushing,” Lance cooed, tilting Keith's chin towards him. 

“Shut up,” Keith grumbled, twisting out of Lance’s reach. The other boy laughed, turning his body to tackle Keith back against the bed. 

“Lance,” Keith gasped between giggles. “Stop! Ahhaha! Stop it!” Lance just grinned as he continued to pepper little kisses all over Keith's face. 

“Never! I love my idiot boyfriend!”

XXXX

Keith had never been so grateful to Kolivan before. 

He had a feeling that the galran leader’s willingness to allow Keith’s participaction in this mission was more to do with his uneasiness over what Lance might do if he didn’t get as many opportunities to see Keith as possible. 

Having been unconscious for the whole ordeal, he wasn’t sure what had transpired between them but apparently Lance had been quite forceful when talking to  Kolivan after the unfortunate incident that resulted in Keith’s miscarriage. Lance insisted that he hadn’t been mean and that he hadn’t blamed Kolivan. When Keith had asked th galra in question, he hadn't given many details but had seemed wary of the paladin after that. 

Either way, Keith was still grateful. Being here on this planet meant he got to watch Lance and the others accept medals from the high council of the planet. They stood together, all looking tall and proud in their armour but Keith’s eyes never left Lance. 

The armour suited him perfectly, fitting just right and highlighting his blue eyes. He wore it so easily, like he was born into the role of defender of the universe and this was where he belonged. He had a small smile on his face that tugged at Keith’s heart strings. 

Keith was always proud of his boyfriend. Of how strong he was and how willing he was to help and protect others. Keith obviously loved him but in this moment he got to share that pride with a whole planet.

After the official medal presentation, Keith watched Lance interact with the grateful locals. The paladin was approachable and friendly as ever, going out signatures and taking selfies whenever asked. He positively beamed whenever one of the aliens asked for a momento. Keith still couldn’t resist rolling his eyes at the overwhelming amount of finger guns the red paladin decided were appropriate. But the locals were eating it up. 

Keith loved watching him like this, in the spotlight. He liked seeing Lance get the recognition that he deserved. Every once in awhile, Lance would send a wink and try to get Keith involved but he wisely hung back. 

For one thing, many aliens still didn’t totally trust the blade, being made up of galrans and all. Word had spread that they were instrumental in taking down a large portion of the galran empire and not looking like a glara himself, Keith wasn’t treated with suspicion but he still wasn't overly comfortable with putting himself in any situation that required so much social interaction. Pidge seemed a little overwhelmed as well but luckily Lance was very talented at being loud and obnoxious. 

“Yea, the green paladin is cool and all but  _ I  _ piloted the blue lion  _ and  _ the red lion!” he was bragging, standing tall and puffing out his chest. When the group of aliens surrounding Pidge turned their attention onto him, Lance gave her a wink before loudly offering selfies. 

Pidge breathed a sigh of relief as she slipped away to stand off the the side with Keith. He shifted to stand a little ahead of her, hiding her from view as much as possible. 

“Thanks,” she said, shooting a grateful smile. 

Keith nodded in response before his eyes were drawn back to the tall boy happily posing with a group of aliens. 

“How does he do that?” Pidge asked, shaking her head.    
“No idea,” Keith snorted in amusement. As much as he might have wanted to hide it, the fondness in his expression spoke for itself. 

“So do you guys think you could stop being dopey and love sick for like two minutes or what?”

Keith shook his head. “Hey! I am not!”

Pidge didn’t even dignify that with a response. 

“I’m not that bad,” Kieth sighed, arms dropping down to his sides. “Does it...always feel like this?”

“You’re asking the wrong person,” Pidge replied, shrugging her shoulders. “I have no idea.” 

Keith turned back to look at his boyfriend with a torn expression. Pidge followed his line of sight but it was hardly needed. She could have guessed what he was looking at easily. 

“If it’s any consolation,” she said easily. “He’s just as mushy and goopey as you.”

XXXX

“This is my brother Marco.”

Lance rested his chin on Keith’s shoulder, looking down at the phone in his boyfriend's hands. Keith sat between Lance’s long legs, back pressed up against the other boy’s chest. Lance’s arms squeezed him tight for a moment before loosening and simply holding Keith around the middle. 

Keith made a soft noise of confirmation before swiping to the next picture. Lance was glad he had pictures of his family on his phone to show Keith. It was as close as they could get to meeting them for now. Just the idea that Keith had been happy to cuddle up with him and subject himself to the many photos Lance had to show off meant the world to him.

Keith would have done anything to help Lance with his home sickness even if he hadn’t wanted to see the photos. The truth was, Keith had to hide just much he really wanted to see where Lance came from and the people he loved enough to cry over at night when he thought Keith was asleep. 

Being the good boyfriend he was, Keith never brought up the nights he heard sniffling behind him or felt Lance’s body shaking beside him. He just snuggled a little closer, stroking Lance’s hair and kissing the tears away as best as he could. Keith knew he would never be able to be a proper replacement for Lance’s family but at least he could give some assurance that Lance wasn’t alone and someone who loved him was close by. 

“This is Veronica?” Keith asked as he swiped to the next one. He was pretty good at recognizing who was who, even though there were a lot of them and they all shared similar features. 

“Yea!” Lance’s face lit up and he squeezed Keith tight again, making his boyfriend smile. Lance’s happy face and warm hugs were a very effective learning technique. Keith would have done a lot better in school with that kind of motivation. 

“Okay, I don’t know this one,” Keith admitted. “But that’s your mom.”

The next picture showed a beautiful woman smiling at the camera and proudly holding up a tiny baby swaddled in a yellow blanket. 

“That’s my youngest cousin, Maria,” Lance provided. Keith nodded, swiping to the next picture. 

The dark haired boy froze, eyes widening and mouth opening. He could feel his cheeks heat up but tried to hide it. “Uh…” 

That was clearly not a family member. For one, this girl was blond and for another she was  sucking face with Lance who was the one clearly taking the picture. His arm was up, hand out of frame. The girl was smiling against his mouth, raised in the middle of tucking her hair behind her ear. 

Lance stiffened behind him and Keith just knew he was trying to figure out what to say. He could practically hear the wheels turning in Lance’s brain. He was glad Lance couldn't see his face. 

“I don’t know this one either,” Keith said casually, acting like there was nothing different about this photo. 

“Uh...Jenny?” Lance’s voice sounded choked off. Keith nodded and swiped to the next one. It was her again. The same girl, alone this time. She was at the beach, posing in a colourful bikini with the ocean behind her and a knowing smile on her face. 

“Jenny again,” Keith commentated. Thank god for the experience he had fighting through his nerves, blood pounding in his ears. Keith was proud of how steady he sounded, how his hand didn’t shake as he swiped again. He was afraid what the next one would show. He breathed a sigh of relief when the next picture just showed a cat and dog curled up together and somehow squished into an impossibly tiny pet bed. Keith smiled. 

“Let me just…” Lance finally seemed to recover as he reached for the phone. Keith handed it over without complaint. “I’m sorry about that. I forgot they were… I only kept them to look at when I was at the Garrison. It was...nice? To remember good times I guess and she was….nice?” Lance was floundering, trying to hide the awkwardness but making it worse. “Just gonna...delete those…” He sounded so embarrassed, maybe even a little ashamed. 

“Don’t!”

Lance almost dropped the phone at Keith’s outburst. He fumbled but caught it, staring at his boyfriend. Keith flushed. 

“I just mean...There’s no reason not to….keep them. If looking at them makes you happy.”

_ If she makes you happy... _

Lance awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “Well they used to …”

_ She used to. _

“I’m with you now so I don’t...It feels weird to keep pictures of my ex. Kind of creepy since she broke up with me and it took me like  _ forever _ to get over her,” Lance hunched his shoulders, side eyeing the boy in his lap. 

Keith was silent, thinking. Lance frowned. He didn’t like that look.

“Hey, Keith. What’s up?” Lance’s brow furrowed and he gently tilted Keith’s chin to look at him. 

“It’s just that...she made you happy once. Looking at those pictures made you happy. I just don’t want you to get rid of them on my account.”

“I don’t need to pine after girls that broke my heart when I have a gorgeous boyfriend right here. Why would I even care about some stupid old pictures?”

Keith didn’t say anything.

“Keith?” Lance prompted, gently lifting his boyfriend’s chin to look at him. Keith slowly met his eyes and Lance’s heart stuttered like it often did when his boyfriend’s pretty eyes focused entirely on him. 

Keith shifted awkwardly and avoided his eyes again. Lance carefully moved back into his line of vision, looking at him worriedly. Keith glanced up. “I don't want to do anything that…”

“That what?” Lance prompet, unwilling to let it go. He leaned forward, cheek nuzzling against Keith's and arms briefly squeezing him tight.

“I don’t really know how to say this,” Keith sighed. Lance could read the frustration on his face. 

“Just say it,” Lance murmured, planting a soft kiss just behind Keith's ear. He was gratified with feeling the other boy melt back against him. 

Lance knew the hesitation had something to do with him, Keith worrying about his feelings. He appreciated that. He really did but he also knew that communication could make or break them. They’d proven that already. 

“What about when we’re not together anymore? If you delete them for me then you won’t have them once I’m gone.. I don’t want you to do anything that’s going to…”

“Keith.”

The dark haired boy stopped, gaze down at his hands curled in his lap. He knew that tone of voice and he knew Lance was disappointed in him. Keith bit his lip, waiting. Lance’s arms squeezed him tight before he was letting go. Keith felt his chest seize up at the loss of warmth from his boyfriend but Lance wasn’t planning on going anywhere. He simply moved to sit in front of Keith, sliding his hands down the other boy’s arms and gripping his hands. 

“This is just like before, right?” Lance asked softly. “Like with the baby?”

Keith's head jerked up and he was met with a pained expression that he would have done anything to erase from Lance’s face forever. 

Keith didn’t respond but he didn’t have to. Lance sighed, bringing Keith's hands up to his mouth and placing a kiss to his knuckles. “We’ve been over this, babe.”

“I know,” Keith whispered. He could feel his cheeks heat up in shame. He hated upsetting Lance.

“I know that its hard for you babe,” Lance tried to smile but Keith could tell it didn’t reach his eyes by a long shot. “I really appreciate you trying.”

Keith just nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Lance slowly and carefully enveloped him in a soft embrace. He cradled Keith’s head as he rested it against Lance’s shoulder. The paladin’s fingers slid through his hair slowly. “I love you, Keith. I can see myself with you forever. I know we could have a future.”

Keith bit his lip, hating the way his body shook and betrayed him. Lance kissed the top of his head again.  

“Do you think you could see yourself with me?” 

Lance’s throat tightened. He hated that he’d asked but he also needed to know if that was part of the reason Keith had trouble with fully committing to their relationship. 

“No.”

Keith's voice was so quiet but he may as well have screamed it into Lance’s face. Keith could feel the other boy’s breath hitch but his fingers didn’t even pause as he continued stroking Keith’s hair. Keith wished his boyfriend didn’t have to be so fucking supportive all the time. 

“It’s not because of you,” Keith said forcefully. He placed his hands on Lance’s chest and pushed away from him. Lance blinked, his eyes betraying his hurt and surprise. “It’s not you. I can’t see myself with anyone. I can’t imagine myself anywhere but alone. I can’t imagine anyone staying with me, giving me so much time and love. You’re the most patient, supportive person I’ve ever met but even you have to have your limits Lance!”

The red paladin blinked back at him, a blank look on his face. His mouth opened and closed a few time but no sounds came out. Keith waited but was unable to keep meeting Lance’s eyes. Eventually he had to glance away again. 

“Keith,” Lance murmured. He reached out, cupping Keith’s cheek, thumb stroking over his skin. His boyfriend’s violet eyes slid anxiously over his face. 

“Keith,” Lance repeated. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re trying. You’re trying so hard and I can see it. Even if you’re not there yet, I see you’re making an effort to make me happy and you know what?” 

“What?” Keith asked wearily. Lance’s smile widened as he leaned into him, lips just brushing over Keith’s.

“You do make me happy,” he whispered. 

Keith shivered, pushing forward and kissing him more forcefully. Lance let him, responding instantly. He smiled against Keith’s lips when his boyfriends arms circled him, hands pushing against his back. He could tell Keith might start getting a little carried away, as he often did when his emotions were high but Lance thought it was more important to discuss this. 

It took a lot of willpower, everything that Lance possessed actually, for him to pull away from Keith’s embrace. His boyfriend always had such an adorable disappointed face when Lance broke their kisses like that. Leaning forward, he gently nuzzled Keith’s nose with his own, feeling the resulting smile slowly spread over his boyfriend’s face. 

“Can I be honest with you?” Lance asked once he’d pulled back. Keith’s brow furrowed and he nodded his head. 

“Of course, Lance,” he said. His voice sounded a little hoarse as his hand reached up to brush Lance’s hair out of his eyes. “Always.”

“I want to have a baby with you.”

Keith jerked back, looking shocked. Lance smiled self deprecatingly. 

“I’m sorry if that was too blunt. I don't mean right now! I just…” Lance sighed heavily. “Is it..Is that really so surprising?”

After the initial shock, Keith gathered himself and schooled his features back into an acceptable expression. “I guess...not,” Keith replied, looking away with a blush on his face. He didn’t quite want to admit how Lance’s words had made his heart flutter pleasantly. “You were...pretty willing before…”

Lance nodded slowly. “Yea,” he said softly. Neither of them liked talking about it. It was painful and dancing around the subject didn’t make it any easier. “I’m still willing. Have you thought about it?”

Keith had the urge to hide his face, knowing how red he was. “Yea,” he replied, cursing how shakey his voice sounded. “Well, Kolivan said that galra mate for life and so I guess it’s a natural urge.”

“Gee, thanks,” Lance replied dryly but he was smiling so softly at Keith that the dark haired boy couldn't even look at him directly. 

“I do want to be with you, Lance,” Keith said softly, seriously. “I want to stay with you and I want to try again….With you…”

Lance nodded, drawing Keith against him.  “ Me too, baby. I want to have a family with you. One day. Maybe when we’re more settled and you come home.”

“Home?” Keith tilted his head with a frown. 

“Here,” Lance clarified. “With me and the others. You know, your family.”

Keith flushed, biting his bottom lip until Lance’s thumb gently tugged it from between his teeth. When Keith looked up at him, Lance was smiling in amusement.

“Don’t bite your lip, babe,” he joked, leaning in with a mischievous glint in his eye. “That’s my job.”

XXXX

“Keith, do you happen to have a moment?” Allura asked discreetly. She leaned into the common room, body half hidden around the door frame. 

“Yes, of course.” Keith glanced over at Hunk as he stood up. The yellow paladin just shrugged his shoulders not knowing anything more than Keith himself but waved him off anyways. 

“I’ll tell the end later,” Hunk assured him. They shared mischievous grins and Keith nodded. He couldn’t wait to tease Lance with the stories Hunk told him of their adventures as roommates together in the Garrison. So far Keith had heard about Lance’s crush on him, his disastrous attempts at home waxing and how Lance had to sleep in Hunk’s bed for a week after watching a scary movie. 

“What’s wrong, Princess?” Keith frowned as he followed Allura out of the room and down the hall. She turned a corner and stopped, turning towards him. 

“Oh, nothing’s wrong,” she assured him quickly. She glanced down at whatever it was in her hands, fiddling with it a little before handing it over to him. “I just wanted to give you this.”

Keith looked at the package in his hands before slowly looking up to meet Allura’s gaze. 

“What’s this?” he asked curiously. 

“It’s...what you’d asked about before. Coran spoke with a physician from the blade when they came to take a look at the technology aboard the castle ship. It’s a daily pill and will be effective within a day or two.” Allura was clearly a little awkward but hid it behind her decorum. Keith appreciated it. 

His face softened as he looked down at the small package in his hands before looking up to meet Allura’s eye again. “Allura….Thank you…”

“Of course,” Allura simply offered a small smile and a gentle hand on his arm. “You must excuse me, Keith. We’ve gathered some new information about  Naxzela that we need to discuss with the rebel forces.”

“Right. Kolivan mentioned that,” Keith’s brow furrowed, suddenly back to business. “Do you have a plan?”

“Not yet,” Allura shook her head. “But we fully expect to within a day or so. It’s just...difficult managing forces of this size. When it was just us with Voltron it was a lot easier,” she admitted. 

“If anyone can get it all together it’s you, Princess,” he assured her confidently. 

Allura’s eyes softened around the edges. “Thank you, Keith.”

XXXX

Lance was done with Keith. Absolutely fucking done.

“Lance, hold on buddy,” Hunk made a grab for Lance’s arm but the red paladin jerked away  with so much force Hunk shrunk back. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him, Hunk,” Lance spat. 

“Lance you don’t mean that,” the yellow paladin didn't sound totally convinced himself. 

“Yes I do!” Lance insisted. “I’m sick of being the one who cares more. I hate it! I hate that I can’t stop thinking about him and worrying about him all the fucking time! I hate that I’m always worried I won’t come back and he’ll be devastated but he doesn’t give a single fucking thought to me! That fucking asshole!” Lance could feel the tears coming and he turned away quickly. 

Hunk made a move like he was going to stop Lance but Pidge placed a hand on his arm and shook her head. Hunk sighed, shoulders dropping as they watched Lance stock away down the hallway. 

The rebels and the blade were docking their pods in one of the castle bays, everyone smiling and congratulating each other as they spilled out into the halls. Lance was the only one with a sour look and nobody tried to stop him as he made his way in. 

It wasn’t hard to find Keith. He’d just exited his pod, sliding his hood down. He looked calm and unworried, but not excited like all the others. Lance made a beeline right for him. 

Keith glanced up just as Lance approached. He smiled and opened his mouth  to say something but Lance never gave him the chance. The paladin had a death grip on Keith's arm and was tugging him out of the bay, into the opposite direction everyone else was headed before the other boy even knew what was happening. Lance stopped in a secluded corner of an empty hallway, spinning Keith roughly to face him. 

Lance felt a pang of regret at how hard he had held onto his boyfriend and fought down the urge to pull Keith close while apologizing. Keith didn’t even seem to notice how roughly Lance handled him. He just stared at his boyfriend in confusion. 

“What the quiznak?” Keith demanded. 

“What the quiznak!? What the quiznack you ask me?! ¡Dios mío!” Lance shook his head, getting into Keith’s face. “I should be the one asking you that, you quiznacking asshole! What the fuck were you thinking?!”

Keith seemed surprised, genuinely taken aback. Then the moment passed and he was in Lance’s face. “I was  _ thinking _ that we needed to defeat the galra, you ass!” 

“That’s all you were thinking about huh?!” Lance demanded. “The galra are just that fucking important to you, right? Just fuck everything else, huh?”

“ _ Defeating  _ them is pretty goddamn important to me, yes!” Keith snapped. “What the fuck is your problem, Lance? We’re on the same damn team here!”

“My  _ problem _ is that my boyfriend doesn’t give two shits about me!” Lance hated how his voice cracked, how he sounded so needy and stupid. Keith was right after all, this was a lot more important that Lance’s stupid feelings. 

Keith’s eyes widened and he seemed to be frozen as he stared at Lance in disbelieve.The paladin waited a beat before he realised that Keith had nothing to say. Most of the fight went out of him at that. Keith wasn’t even willing to fight for him, of course he wasn’t. Lance kept up his anger as he turned away. 

“That’s my own fucking fault, isn’t it? I don’t know what I expected. This is the way it's always been. With you, with everyone. Fuck! I’m just a fucking moron.” Lance ran a hand through his hair in agitation and Keith’s heart broke. 

His hand shot out, grabbing Lance’s arm and pulling him back. “What the hell are you talking about? Where is this even coming from?”

“Where-” Lance scoffed. “You left me, Keith. You fucking left me to go back with your galra pals! I tried to be supportive but you never think about me, ever! Did I even cross your mind at all when you decided it would be a good idea to fucking kill yourself out there?! Did you even think what it might do to me?! All I ever do is think about you and worry about coming back to you and you can’t even manage the simple task of keeping yourself alive for me?!”

To say Keith was shocked was an understatement. His mouth dropped open and anything he may have wanted to say was wiped clean from his mind. Lance roughly pulled his arm from keith's now slack grasp. 

“I’m so sick of being the one who always loves more! I hate it, I fucking hate it!” Lance shouted, tears streaming down his face. He tried to wipe them away but it was useless. “I hate that I love you so much more. I can’t fucking help it! I hate the way I am! I fucking hate myself! I thought I made peace with it but I haven't and it fucking sucks-” The last part of whatever he was going to say was cut off by a choked sob. 

Suddenly Keith’s pain and heartbreak was taken over by his anger. “How dare you say that?! How fucking dare you?!” Keith demanded, taking a step forward. “You think you love me more? You’re so full of shit!  _ I _ love  _ you _ more you dumb asshole!”

Lance opened his mouth to argue but Keith didn’t let him get a single word out. He gripped Lance’s shoulder hard and pulled him forward. “Of course I thought about you! I thought about never seeing your face again and never seeing you smile or touching your hair or holding your hand. It was all I could think about but do you know what? None of that mattered! I still wouldn't get to see you if I didn’t do something to fucking save you, asshole! It’s an easy fucking choice to make between myself and you! If I’m gone you’ll still be fine! You have a family, people you love and who love you. I don’t! You’re the only person I love like this! You have a lot of people you have to give pieces of your love to but I don't. I’ve never loved anyone, I’ve never given my love to anyone but you so you have it all! All of it! If I lose you…” Keith sniffled, his voice wavering. “If I lose you I lose everything, Lance! If you lose me you can start over. You’re so fucking easy to love! I’m not, I’ll never find anyone again!”

“Love doesn’t work like that, Keith!” Lance was still shouting but the anger had gone out of it. “Love isn’t a finite resource!”

Keith was sobbing now, trying too hard to fight it to be able to answer Lance. His fists clenched and shoulders hunched, body shaking. Lance’s arms were around him, his own sobs loud in Keith's ear. They held each other tight, leaning on each other for support and letting everything out. 

XXXX

Neither of them were really feeling the celebration that night but they played their parts. It was easier for Lance. Keith was struggling but the red paladin took mercy on him. Lance kept his arm around Keith's shoulders the whole time. 

Keith was grateful for the constant contact but the truth was that Lance did it as much for himself as much as he did for his boyfriend. Having Keith’s warm side pressed against his own gave him the reassurance that he needed. His boyfriend was here and he was safe and returned Lance’s love. Even if they had different ways of experiencing and expressing their love.

Still, neither of them were entirely comfortable until they were sliding under the blankets together, Lance burying his face in Keith’s chest and Keith’s fingers finding their way into Lance’s hair. The repetitive motions soothed them both. 

“I’m sorry,” Keith whispered into the dark. He wasn’t looking down at Lance, his words carrying out towards the ceiling. His eyes were adjusted to the darkness and he could make out the now familiar shapes in the room. Their room.

“I know,” Lance murmured. He nuzzled against Keith's chest, listening and feeling his heart beating. He closed his eyes and said a prayer of thanks to still hear the steady rhythm in his boyfriend's chest as Keith’s hand fell to the back of his neck, fingers stroking softly. “I thought you knew how much I loved you.”

Lance didn’t mean to say it like that, didn’t mean for it to come out as an accusation. Keith stilled, body tensing. Lance could practically hear his jaw clenching and he sighed. 

“I-” Keith started to say but Lance stopped him. The paladin leaned up, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. 

Keith seemed reluctant at first but when Lance applied just a little more pressure, he responded easily enough. When they pulled away again, Keith's expression was softer, happier. Lance reached up and tucked his hair back behind his ear. 

“I love you,” Keith whispered. 

Lance tried not to make a big deal out of it. This wasn’t technically the first time Keith had said that to him but it was the first time he hadn’t shouted it in a flurry of emotions. Lance tried to be cool. He failed. 

“Keeeeeith!” Lance wailed, throwing himself forward and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders. Keith laughed as Lance kissed at every inch of his face. 

“Lance,” Keith breathlessly pushed at his boyfriend’s shoulders. “You dork!”

“Ha! Jokes on you! You love a dork,” Lance teased. 

Keith’s face softened, lips turning up and eyes glazing over. “Yea. I do.”

Neither of them really knew who started it, not that it really mattered. One second they were both leaning in, the next lips and hands and arms were everywhere. Lance was pushing Keith back against the bed, the other boy’s fingers digging into his back. 

Somewhere at the edge of Lance’s mind he knew this wasn’t a good idea. Emotions were still high. His adrenaline from before had worn off, making him feel exhausted but Keith's hands on his skin reignited his body in a completely different way. Before he really knew what he was doing, his hand was down Keith’s pants, leaning his weight on his opposite elbow as best he could with Keith grabbing at him desperately. The other boy's back arched off the bed, his eyes closed, lips parted and face the most beautiful pink Lance had ever seen. 

The sound of his name leaving Keith's mouth urged Lance to stroke him a little faster. The soft gasp that escaped the boy under him, followed by a pleasurable groan woke something in him that Lance had been trying to keep under wraps.

His hand suddenly stilled and Keith opened his eyes, staring up at Lance and swallowing hard. 

“I’m still mad at you,” Lance whispered but there was no heat behind his words. As a show of good faith, he grazed his thumb across the head of Keith’s cock, causing the other boy to jerk his hips. 

“I know,” Keith whispered back. He managed to look at least somewhat ashamed even breathless and flushed, eyes heavy with want. 

Lance smiled, leaning in to kiss him, more tenderly this time. “As long as you know,” he murmured against Keith’s lips. He could feel Keith nod his head before catching Lance’s lips again. 

Lance slowly withdrew his hand, drawing in a sharp breath at the way Keith’s hips bucked up, chasing the touch. 

“Is this okay?” Lance whispered into his ear. He grazed his nose slowly down Keith’s neck, pausing to bite gently at his collar bone. “Or do you want to try topping?”

Keith arched his body under Lance’s attentions, eyes fluttering. Lance’s question snapped him back to himself quickly and the nerves hit him hard.

“Coran um...Sorted something out for me,” Keith trailed off sheepishly. 

“Really?” Lance blinked at him in surprise before frowning slightly. “You never mentioned…” 

“Um I was going to but...It didn’t seem like a good time? I’m sorry I didn’t...I should have said but so much was happening and we didn't have very much time alone together anyways. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to yet so...”

“It’s fine! I don’t care. Well, I mean yeah, I care because that’s awesome for you but I just...was surprised,” Lance smiled sheepishly. 

“Yea,” Keith said fondly. There was still a look in his eyes that said he was unsure about something.

Lance laid a hand against Keith's cheek, turning his head to look at him. “It’s okay if you’re not ready yet its fine, Keith. Remember? We had this conversation.”

“I know. It’s not that,” Keith still hesitated, avoiding looking Lance in the eye. “It’s just that...I mean it should be effective but if it’s not…?”

“Right,” Lance nodded. He reached out, bunching Keith's shirt up a little and stroking his bare side with the backs of his fingers. “So we can do something else then. There’s  _ a lot _ of other ways to have sex you know.” He winked, clearly willing to demonstrate. 

Keith couldn’t help the smile and breathless laugh. That was just so  _ Lance _ . 

“I’m just wondering...would you be okay with that? With the risk?”

“Oh.” Lance looked confused before the question clicked and he realised what Keith was really asking him. “ _ Oh _ .”

Keith turned his head away sheepishly. 

“Of course I am,” Lance murmured. He gently entwined his fingers with Keith's. “I’ll always be there for you, Keith. I’m fine just as long as you’re comfortable, okay? You’re the one who gets to call the shots, babe.”

Keith’s expression became suddenly serious, brows furrowing adorably. Lance couldn't help placing a kiss there. Then three more for good measure. 

“Your opinion matters though,” Keith said softly. 

“Yea,” Lance murmured. He’d already moved on from Keith’s forehead to kiss the corner of his mouth. “My opinion is that I love you.”

Keith couldn't help but laugh at that. “I love you too, baby blue.”

“Keeeeeeith….” Lance wailed, burying his face in Keith's collar bone. His boyfriend only laughed, stroking his hair. 

“You’re so cute,” Keith teased. 

“No,  _ you’re _ cute,” Lance retorted, lifting his head. 

“ _ You’re _ cute,” Keith insisted, leaning a bit to kiss him. 

“You’re cuter,” Lance murmured after pulling away. He dove back in for another kiss, cutting off Keith's response. 

“You’re cuter,” Keith argued, pulling away only to kiss Lance again. Longer this time, letting his lips linger with the promise of more. 

“You’re the cutest,” Lance leaned up, forcing his lips to Keith's with an almost bruising pressure. 

“ _ You’re  _ the cutest!” Keith pushed on Lance’s shoulders, moving him away to flip Lance onto his back. 

“No, you are,” Lance grunted, pulling Keith down to him. 

Their lips met in a messy tangle of lips and tongues. Keith found Lance’s hand, lacing their fingers together and feeling a gentle squeeze from his boyfriend. 

Lance’s other hand was already sliding under Keith's shirt, bunching it up and trailing fingers across bare skin. Keith ground down against him, Lance’s hips jerking up in response. He could feel Lance groan against his mouth before pulling away from the kiss.

“This isn’t over, Kogane,” Lance glared up at him but the expression lacked any real heat. 

“It never is, baby blue,” Keith murmured, lowering his head to nip at the sweet spot on Lance’s neck. 

The red paladin let out a wordless groan that made Keith chuckle and it all dissolved from there. 

It was the sensations that Keith would remember later. The feel of Lance’s fingers stretching him open, hands on his hips, lips trailing over Keith’s stomach, teeth grazing over his nipples. 

Sex with Lance was always good but Keith had almost forgotten the way Lance liked to push into him so slow and satisfying. Almost forgotten how full it made him feel and the noises Lance would make. 

Fuck, how had he forgotten those noises? Just hearing them was enough to make Keith’s body shake and clench around Lance’s thick cock. Of course that only ripped another pleasured groan from the boy above him and made Keith want him even more. 

“That feels so good baby,” Lance groaned into his neck. “Fuck that’s so good...Fuck…”

“Yea,” Keith whispered. His eyes fluttered shut before flying opened with a strangled moan as Lance’s hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him softly. 

“Do you want me to pull out, baby?”

“No, no…” Keith arched into Lance’s touch. “No, cum inside me. Please. Ah...Fuck Lance. I’m so close.”

“I know,” Lance murmured soothingly, lips trailing up Keith's neck to just behind his ear. “I know, baby. Me too. Just cum for me, okay? Just cum, baby.”

Keith grunted, squeezing his eyes shut tight and turning his head away. Not yet, he didn’t want to yet, didn’t want it to be over. 

‘C’mon, baby,” Lance urged. His hand worked over Keith’s cock, hips grinding in hard. 

Keith's head tipped back with a wordless cry but he held on. Lance continued to whisper lovingly into his ear, telling Keith how good he felt around his cock and how badly Lance wanted to see him cum, how good he looked underneath him. 

When Lance rocked his hips hard again, Keith couldn't hold it this time. He was pretty sure it was Lance’s name that left his lips but he couldn’t hear it through the blood pumping in his ear and the way his body arched, hips pushing against his boyfriend’s. 

“Fucking finally,” Lance breathed in relief. He fucked him through his orgasm as much as he could before releasing deep inside Keith with a satisfied moan of his boyfriend’s name. 

They lay there for what felt like forever and barely a second all at once. Lance buried his face in Keith’s shoulder while Kieth wrapped his arms around him, stroking his back and hair with his eyes closed. Keith was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be able to move for quite some time. Luckily, Lance didn’t seem to be in much of a hurry. He was still groaning quietly against Keith’s skin, making him smile.

“Keith?”

When Lance finally lifted his head, Keith was met with one of the most beautiful expressions he’d ever seen in those blue eyes. Lance was looking at him so lovingly, face completely blissed out and content. 

“Hm?” Keith brushed Lance’s hair back out of his eyes. 

Lance just shook his head, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against Keith's “Nothing. Just that I love you.”

“I love you too,” Keith whispered. Relief filled his chest at finally being able to express it. Lance chuckled as he kissed him once, twice, three times before managing to disentangle himself from his octopus boyfriend. 

Keith whined at the loss of contact. Lance’s eyes flashed with amusement and another, more tender emotion as he looked down at Keith. 

“I’ll be right back. Just going to get you cleaned up,” Lance assured him, leaning in to kiss him once more. 

Keith sighed but let him go, knowing he could always trust Lance to come back. 

**Author's Note:**

> The next part of the series will be Keith and Lance on Earth and eventually trying for a baby again. I’m open to ideas or just what people might want to see. Any lose ends that need to be tied or things you’d like them to discuss? I have a rough outline but I’d like to hear from you guys! Hit me up here or my tumblr just-some-girl-92


End file.
